As someone who doesn’t drink, I would personally love to see this day wiped from existence. A year ago today, I had the longest day of my life. I will talk about it, but you won’t think it’s that bad because I am definably in the minority here.

Wake up at 8 and make breakfast for around 20 people. It was awesome. Green waffles, green rice krycThe cispie treats, green eggs, etc. It was delicious and awesome. Then it all started to go downhill. We went down to the bars at about noon or one and went to one after the other for about 8 hours. It was awful. Everyone and their mothers were out and every one of their stupid boyfriends. Seriously, beer attracts stupid boyfriends. Stupid boyfriends attract hair gel. Hair gel attracts stupid girls. The cycle continues. It got colder as the day went on and I had to spend my time babysitting drunk kids to make sure they didn’t sleep with horrifically ugly birds.

I just drove seven well lubed up people to get more drunk. Screw this day, I’m going to the movies to see The Goonies. You think I’m joking? I’m not joking.